Can’t sleep.

I yearn so bad for what’s ahead. I want what I want to happen right now. I need that instant gratification that this world can give. I want my dreams to happen at this moment because I just do. Now, this second. Wait what am I thinking about? Take a chill for a second.

All in God’s timing my Beloved. 

I literally cannot contain my excitement for what’s ahead in 6 months. Whether that be plan A or B, as long as it’s Jesus’ plan I’m keen. Easier said then done. It’s so hard to not want it to rush, or happen faster because we usually are use to having instant gratification in this world, but a great reminder is that the Lord is not of this world. As much as I hardly have any patience, the Lord is teaching me this season all about patience, ironic hey? Each season of life can bring new learning experiences. However, I may not agree with what I’m learning, I know that what’s happening now will effect my future good or bad.

But wait… what if..

I’ve learned over the course of this past year to let go of the what if’s or the but’s because those both stand for ROADBLOCK. Trusting in the Lord with all my heart and not leaning on my own understanding is exactly what I need to these next months and as much as it’s going to suck and does suck, again, He knows what’s best because He is my Heavenly Father. He is the creator. He is the Omni-present and He is Yahweh. That itself should give me peace knowing someone has my future in their hands. I don’t need to worry for tomorrow because tomorrow has it’s own worries for itself. I also don’t need to worry because I have a loving Father who has my future already planned out, it’s whether or not I make the obedient choice to glorify His kingdom and not my own doings.

Speak truth and just rest. 

As much as the truth may hurt, annoy, or encourage, the truth is truth. Knowing the truth is one thing but believing that truth is another. Resting on the fact of knowing and believing in the truth is just a reward itself. It provides abundant life throughout this sin-filled crap hole we call earth or life. It provides anxiety-free moments and peace when you just rest on truth, you can do life without fear and just enjoy the present moment that you’re so wishing to go by faster because you want those 6 months to be over with.

In time my Beloved, seek first His kingdom and all will be given. Not your will but His be done. 

As I try to type more of what brain is pouring out, as per usual during this certain time. I’m at a stump so I will have to call it a night. Despite not having a conclusion, it’s a good start to a journey that is just the beginning.

Goodnight xx


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