Crap… I failed again or made that same mistake… what the heck is wrong with me? I literally have been struggling so immensely lately, I’ve been ignoring everything around me because I cannot do anything right lately. I can’t be perfect and I’m pissed. I can’t follow through with my promises that I made to myself or stop that habitual habit. I’m a horrible person, I suck, I’m dumb, I’m the worst, what’s my worth, what’s my purpose even?
I know I am not the only one who has these thoughts when failure occurs in on my life especially being the perfectionist as I am. It’s a quick downward spiral when you let the enemy whisper ALL those LIES and DOUBTS in your head because it’s definitely not from God. God is good ALL the time and all the time He is good! Our Heavenly Father is the perfecter and author of our lives, He is the creator, He is the Alpha and the Omega, He is omnipresent and He is UNCONDITIONAL.
It all just goes back to the basics just like anything else, speaking life over yourself is MUST when those negative thoughts pop in, i.e You’re His Beloved, You’re a daughter or son of Christ, You are CO-AIR of God’s kingdom, You’re saved by GRACE through FAITH! Once saved, always saved despite your other beliefs down the road, or “distance” from God, you’re forever His even if you keep sinning, keep dishonouring, keep walking away because at the end of the day Jesus promises that once you’ve accepted Him, you’re forever His and I believe that deep down after even when you stray (which what is currently happening for me at the moment) I yearn for something so much deeper than what this world can give me. JESUS. Jesus is not of this world, He is in the world. by that I mean He is against the grain of the sand. He is the opposite of this evil-satanic dark place we call earth. Jesus is good, He provides a way out of temptation, He provides unconditional love, hope, grace, mercy, etc, anything good; you name it!
When I get caught up with social media, and being busy I really truly forget about truth. All those “distractions” are the enemies way of keeping me from Christ. It sounds silly, I know I used to think so as well, but the light cannot be with the dark so satan will do ANYTHING to distract you to be in the light and it can be the littlest thing like that TV show you have to binge watch every night, or refresh your Instagram feed to see how many likes are on that new photo you posted. Trust me, I’ve been there done that. That’s why Im hear to say if you want to cut that pattern off, you’re the only person who has the power to do that. I shared something with a wise friend about how a pattern kept occurring in my life and I was sick of it, it made me furious. I wanted it to stop but then that person said, maybe it’s reoccurring so you can make it stop once in for all. You know coherently realise that it’s happening and you now know how to stop it, so you have a choice to make it end or have the pattern continue. Your choice (any time I hear someone say that, Mr. Chow’s voice always comes up in my head)
As annoying that occurrence may have been, it really did make me realise that I truly did need to stop that pattern and I knew what I had to do, as much as I didn’t want to do it and as much as my flesh was craving it, the pattern needed to end in order to have healing sooner rather than later. The struggle is real, struggle will happen in this life, distance from God will happen, doubting God will happen, questioning God will happen, failing will happen, habitual sin will happen but He knew that from the start. He knows everything including the amount of hairs on your head. That’s why we have the bible, that’s why we have people in this world who are confident in Christ and only want nothing but for others to know the truth so they go and spread the gospel for others to know that you’re not alone in struggling. You’re human, you’re born into a broken world it’s what’s going to happen unfortunately. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in this position of distancing myself from God because I’m not feeling worthy enough, or I’m too dirty to be around Him, well let me remind you beautiful soul that when you come to Jesus, come as you are!! Dirty, filthy, addicted, sinful, bruised, broken, gay, straight, old, young, new believer, old believer, or never even heard of this Jesus guy, etc. it doesn’t matter, COME AS YOU ARE, please!
Again, as I said, it goes back to the basics. We walk by faith not by sight. Despite what the world may say or how freaking hard it may be, trust in the loving God and in His promises that He has for you and your life. The cross IS enough and YOU are enough for Jesus! Speak life, speak truth daily to yourself out loud. Once you start doing that, guarantee that your whole perspective on everyone and everything will start to change.